shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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