Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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