Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
