right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
