I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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