dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
