So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
