Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
