in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
ok first of all what the fuck
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
