mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
