Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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