I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
