just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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