I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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