She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
