just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize