Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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