whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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