in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
