just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
