My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
