I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
