I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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