I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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