Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
