i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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