and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
