spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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