So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
