Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
