someone owes me an orgasm
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
