I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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