i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
