I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
