what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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