don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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