It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
