you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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