5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
