Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
