You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
