Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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