He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
