I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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