i think my mom watched the whole time
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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