He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
