A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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