who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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