Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
