we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
