with your own penis?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize