i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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