I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I love you. Go after that dick
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
