She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
