I'm drive I can fine osifer
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
