this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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