All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
