Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize