Define "chronic" masturbator.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I love you.
Bad choice
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
