Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
