i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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