so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize